everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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