Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
