Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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