ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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