He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
