I wish you could order shots online.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
