What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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