There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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