And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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