Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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