Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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