Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
