Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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