is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
