He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
