redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
