i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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