how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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