It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
