You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
