I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
