...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
