You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
