Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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