Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
