your parents love me but you hate me
handjob tips. give me some.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
