i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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