just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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