Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
