I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
