allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
