I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
