i need an iv and a liver transplant
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
