I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize