My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
