then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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