So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
