He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
