I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
