I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
