It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
