Your face is a jimmy john
I want to stick my p in your. b.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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