i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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