im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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