i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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