How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
