Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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