I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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