so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
