I'm drive I can fine osifer
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
