you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
