I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
