someone get that fucking seahorse.
and she was petting her beer can
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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