Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
