Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
