i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize