You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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