Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
