Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
