So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
