I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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