I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
