Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
