It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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