doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
