Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize