Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
